Caught in the Act12:40 AM Wednesday March 27, 2013 |

I knew it.
Something fishy is happening in my bathroom.
Dumadami ang mga butiki. At first, I thought they, probably, are able to squeeze themselves in thru the window gaps.
Pero there are a lot of small ones. That means someone is making them.

One night, when I entered my bathroom, I saw two lizards, one large, one medium. I suspected that they were in the middle of something interesting when I unfortunately walked in and disturbed their romance.

Sabi ko na nga ba merong kabalastugan’g nagaganap sa banyo ko. Matagal ko ng suspetsa yan.

My fear is, not only lizards are using my bathroom as a free motel, but even spiders. I’ve seen two little ones and I am just so scared of spiders.

Termites have invaded our house. Our kitchen, floors, and even my bathroom. Rainbow Pest Control is now the one monitoring the movements of the anay. There are anay baits around our house including one in my bathroom.

Termite bait

My bathroom is due for total repair. We’ll finish first the kitchen, then my bathroom is next. I can’t wait to tear it down.

Last night, when I walked in, I saw an ipis crawling on the floor. Unfortunately, I didn’t have an instant pamalo so it got away.

When I came home at 7 pm, I saw one again, it could be that same guy I’ve seen last night.

I brought my sister to Cafe Juanita for dinner. When we came home at almost 10 pm, I didn’t immediately go inside my bathroom. I went in at 12 midnight. And whaaa, I caught two ipis making-out. Magka dikit ang mga puwet nila. Attached. Nagla-labing-labing. As in making love. They were having sex right in my bathroom, behind my back, without any permission from the owner of the house. Mga mahahalay. I felt so betrayed.

I was stunned. Ganun pala feeling. Oh my mga ipis. What are you doing in my bathroom. Mga bastos.

I started calling Edmund….”Tart! Tart!”
I wanted sana to give my husband the honor of making pukpok these two indecent creatures. But Edmund was sound asleep.

I had to be brave. I pukpok them with my waste basket. Medyo nahilo but after a minute they continued what they were doing. They were F-ing each other!
Sobraaaa. They’re in the heat of passion.
I squirted lots and lots of Fructis hair conditioner. Parang nasarapan pa yata. I spritzed some shampoo naman. Wah epek pa rin. Mali yata. Lubrication?

199

I covered them with detergent powder, aba, ayaw pa ring tumigil.

200

Finally, I got the bottle of alcohol from Edmund’s bathroom and squirted them nice and easy.
Hayun, rest in peace na sila.
They died in a passionate embrace.

Comments

  1. Hello Ms. Annie! I like how you write your thoughts. You really should write. The title, if I may suggest, should be something like,”Annie’s Daily”, “Annie’s *Slip”, Annie’s World, etc.

    I can even picture the cover with a Lolita Lempicka like fontstyle, wildflowers with summer’s colors as the background, and you sitting at the center with your pa-diyosa pose at embossed para may kunting pa-dimensional effect! There should also be some illustrations of some of the situations para mas entertaining. . . ahahahaaaaa! anlayo na ng naisip ko!

    *slip as in slip of the tongue, heheeel

    1. Hi Cecile,
      I like your idea of me in a field of flowers. I have imagined myself sitting amidst a field of lavender. What prevents me from doing that is I am afraid of spiders and insects. Baka kagatin ang wetpu ko.
      Thank you and warmest regards.

  2. Annie you are really funny you know what its like I’m reading mystery detective story at 1st pahapyaw lang ang pagbasa ko but it looks interesting so I continue reading its early in the morning I woke up when I read it I’m laughing by myself because my husband & my son is still asleep cont. Annie thanks ate Mena.

  3. Hi Annie,

    Musta na? I just wan’t to tell you that I do always read your blog…and I am enjoying it!!! Nakakatuwa ka…you always make me laugh :) This one is really funny!
    Keep on writing .

    It’s me,
    Sandra ( one of the Carola girls… remember ?)

  4. Your writing style is very candid, spontaneous, honest. Walang ka-plastican!!! This post is very funny. Thank you Ms. Annie for your blog. It’s now part of my routine and my life. You are ohmybuhay!!

  5. Hi, Ms. Annie!

    I saw your blog in Facebook after a friend liked your page. Nakakatuwa na from Binangonan ka rin pala. I’m a blogger too from Libid/Libis. :-)

    I love this post of yours. Dami kong tawa!

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